Tap, tap, thud…
Tap d’ tap, tap, thud…
Tap, tap, thud, d’ tap, tap, tap, thud…
Idly drumming his fingers and thumbs off of the window sill in Isaac’s flat didn’t make the silence any less horrible to listen to. There was nothing like an empty home to make the loneliness set in and make your days seem just a little bit more dull and lifeless.
With a heavy sigh Gideon left the window and placed a single key on the bedside table just below the reading lamp and straightened a short note he’d written a couple days ago. It simply explained that he had fixed the broken doorknob and there was no longer a need to break in because they now both had a key. Seeing that the key was still in the place Gideon had left it last just made him believe Isaac hadn’t noticed and the more he thought about it the more he began to realise how much time they were truly spending apart.
Hell, Gideon had been waiting over three hours for Isaac to come home to surprise him with food and maybe a massage since he knew his shoulders got tense but no one had shown. This wasn’t the first time either; this was the third or fourth time. Isaac was simply never around and while Gideon understood their jobs were demanding and even he was gone for months at a time…this sudden absence was for no particular reason. At least not to his knowledge there wasn’t.
The idea of Isaac avoiding him and not coming home because of him made Gideon feel sick to his stomach. Maybe the man just needed a break? Maybe he was feeling smothered? That was the very last thing Gideon wanted him to feel. He wanted to be around Isaac to bring him comfort, love….joy. All the things one person is supposed to give another…
Maybe Gideon just wasn’t being…good enough?
This time Gideon shook his head and cleaned up the food, putting it in the fridge before turning his back on the flat. A small whistle was given to call Fenris out before he closed the door, locked it and slid his key beneath it. At least it was possible since the door has been shimmied so many times you could lift it slightly off of the floor. The new lock should come in handy though and Gideon didn’t worry that he had just locked both keys inside; he knew Isaac was probably still picking the lock if he’d been home at all and he would just do the same with this.
The next few days left Gideon unsettled and pacing in his own quarters. He wasn’t sure what he should do. This wouldn’t have been so bad if Isaac would have just talked to him but it seemed like he was avoiding him all together. He hadn’t heard anything still and the longer this went on the worse Gideon was beginning to feel.
By the next day Gideon had, had enough and wanted at least some kind of answer. When his work was done the cadet ventured down to Isaac’s office and knocked on the door before entering. He was a bit surprised to see Isaac sitting behind towers of papers and whatnot. Seeing all the work made him want to leave but if it was just all work why wouldn’t he just mention it? Why would be stay quiet and just…avoid him?
“Hey,” Gideon said as a start and quietly told Fenris to laid down and stay by the door not wanting him to get into any of the papers, organized or not. “It’s been awhile….a little more than a few days since I saw you last. I don’t know if you’ve been down to your flat but…”
At this point Gideon felt like he was speaking to a brick wall through a gas mask, even if he wasn’t and Isaac was listening to him. He paused again to move a bit closer to the desk seeing again how tired Isaac looked and he sighed, “ Mad at me or not, Isaac, you need to take a break. You’re wearing yourself down…that’s obvious. You can’t keep working like this…”
Suddenly this wasn’t about how much Gideon missed him, or how lonely he felt. Now it was just about Isaac getting some rest so he didn’t look like the undead because Gideon was sure he felt like it too.
The first clue to just how stressed Isaac was that Avar was missing. The window was only half closed to let in some fresh air, probably to keep him awake, but the bird was nowhere to be seen. Not on the Commander’s shoulder or chair, not on the desk, and not in the rafters, where he was usually sitting whenever the redhead had work to do. He was out, and seeing as it was getting dark, that was rather unusual. Isaac himself hadn’t probably even noticed, judging by how he even kept writing on one of the papers as Gideon talked to him, despite looking up one or two times to show that he was paying attention.
"I don’t have time for a fucking break", the Commander heard himself snarl and almost immediately regretted his tone, because: "And I’m not mad at you." He wanted to smile, he wanted to get up and hug the boy and then spend the night with him, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed to get all of these papers done until the day after tomorrow, and the worst thing was that he couldn’t even tell Gideon why.
He was terrible at preparing surprises, even those that were supposed to be good ones.
"I’m sorry", he sighed as he put down his pen, leaned back and ran both hands through his messy hair, noticing only now that he had forgot to put his red strands into a ponytail. Not that it mattered, but it showed just how forgetful he had become. "Haven’t been down to my place in a week or something. Been waitin’ there for me?" He hoped not, because he felt completely terrible about that fact right now, up to the point where he believed Gideon was just here to tell him it was over.